“10 years on, I’m still waiting”: One mother’s experience of losing her children to The Hague Convention

Madalen Bayley, working towards an MA in journalism, recently wrote this blog post for us:

“On the third of August next year, it will be exactly ten years since I last saw my children”. Anita Gera was living comfortably with her two children when she was accused of international child abduction by her abusive ex husband.

Anita and her children (then aged 6 and 8 years) had moved to Buckinghamshire from the United States with her ex-husband’s consent for a better, safer life, away from abuse. Anita recalls, “[the children] went to school and we had rented a house, and everything was great. Lots of family around nearby. It was really lovely because in the States we had absolutely nobody.” After close to a year in the UK, everything changed. With an aura of quiet resilience, Anita goes on to say, “First of all, there was no contact at all from him and then when he did get back in touch, he wanted us to return [to the US]. Immediately within a week.” “I didn’t say no, we just needed to discuss it. At which point, he invoked The Hague Convention.”

Anita had never heard of The Hague Convention when it was invoked against her in 2013. The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction (HCCA) is an international treaty intended to prevent non-custodial parents from abducting their children and taking them abroad. With legal proceedings taking place in the United States, Anita felt an added sense of vulnerability as a non-citizen. “You’re treated very, very differently.” Anita says of her position as non-American, mother and, survivor of domestic abuse. “My ex-husband was well aware of that and made it clear to me that I would be treated differently, that he held all the cards.” Although intended to protect vulnerable people, the HCCA does little to protect those affected by and looking to leave situations of domestic violence. Although Anita had an order of protection against her abusive ex-husband and had been promised extra support measures due to the dangerous nature of her situation, none of that mattered. “We got back to America and less than 72 hours after getting off that plane, my children were taken away from me,” Anita says, “It was incredibly confusing and traumatic for [my children] because they were quite afraid of their father, and they’d witnessed some violence.”

Ten years on and Anita is still waiting to be reunited with her children, now 16 and 18 years old. When asked how she has stayed resilient through this long and traumatic period Anita says, “I have to survive for the sake of my children. I wouldn’t want to collapse into the lowest of the low, what a burden that would be for them.” Since having The Hague Convention invoked on her, Anita has co-founded a company called ‘Hague Explained’ with the goal of educating, raising awareness and enacting change for not just herself but others who have been impacted by the HCCA. Anita says, “I want to have a life that I can be proud of so that one day when I see them, I can say, look this is me. This is what I’ve done.”